hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I want to be your penis for a week.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
