I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
