to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
