So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
even my farts smell like vagina
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
