watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
