i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
