there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
