respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
