This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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