so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
vagina is talking i cant
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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