I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
