Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
