I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
