And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
