Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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