If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
did you just send me my own nude
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
