I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
