Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
there is glitter all over my balls
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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