She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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