so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
