I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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