Kiss
Puke
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
