First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
