Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
