So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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