Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
