I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
