my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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