I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
