Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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