Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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