Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
