i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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