He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
