But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
