Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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