I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize