their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
