be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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