how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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