Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
