so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
