Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
