His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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