You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
