maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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