used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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