Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
