I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
