He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
