Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
