I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
