haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
