Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
