you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
