That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
