I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Holy sore nipples Batman
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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