I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
