There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
