Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
