i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
