I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize