I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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