You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
