Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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