i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just high enough for therapy.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sext me about skeletons
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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