At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
