she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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