So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
