I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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