u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
wow bdsm is so cute
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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