Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
