She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
